By Ozii Baba Anieto
In response to the reactions to my previous article on the burial customs of Igbo women, I realized that the tradition of repatriating the body of a married daughter to her family is widely practiced in many Igbo communities. However, I am drawing from the customs of Umu Eze Kisa Kindred in Umunnachi, Anambra State, for this discussion.
The name Umu Eze Kisa translates to Children of the Priest of Kisa. As a descendant of this ancient priestly lineage, I have been deeply rooted in these traditions. In this context, Eze means “priest,” and Kisa refers to our family deity.
When a daughter of the Kisa family passes away, her body is returned to her family of birth. Every daughter, known as Nwa Ada, who marries, becomes a member of Umu Okpu, a group representing perpetual membership in her birth family. Okpu means Okputolokpu (perpetuity), signifying that no matter the marital bond, a daughter always remains part of her original family. Therefore, upon her death, she is brought back to her true home.
In my family, marrying a daughter does not mean owning her. A man may be married to her, but she remains Nwa Okpu, an everlasting daughter of her family.
Marriage in Igbo culture is more than just a union between two individuals; it is a contract between two families. During the marital rites in my community, both the groom’s and the bride’s families contribute. The expenses are not solely borne by the groom. The groom’s family provides the bride price, while the bride’s family offers a dowry. In ancient times, the bride’s family ensured that their daughter went to her new home well-prepared, often sending her off with more than enough to start her new life. The respect she commanded in her husband’s household was tied to the value her family placed on her, as shown by her dowry.
Among the items traditionally given when a daughter of Eze Kisa is married are kitchen utensils, a young she-goat, an adolescent hen, a bag of clothes (even before colonization, Igbo men and women covered their loins with cloth), and other essentials. These gifts are presented to the groom’s family, not the husband himself. Consequently, if a woman is mistreated and returns to her family, we do not expect the husband to come and reclaim her. Instead, the groom’s family, to whom we gave our daughter, would initiate the reconciliation process.
There is an Igbo proverb, “Ife nwoke nyelu ibe ya bu n’na jidelu m'”, meaning that whatever a man gives to another is considered a loan. When a married daughter passes away, her body must be returned to her father, and the itogbo ozu nwa ada ritual must be performed.
The Itogbo Ozu Nwa Ada ritual translates to laying the corpse of a daughter. As our daughter, we believe no one, not even her husband, can care for her better than her family. According to custom, she must be reunited with her ancestors. However, when bringing her back, the groom’s family must return certain items, including her cooking utensils, her bag of clothes, an adolescent hen, and a tender she-goat.
These items are placed on the family land where the Alpha of our family, Eze Kisa (the Priest of Kisa), once kept the shrine of Kisa.
The children of our daughter will forever remain part of our lineage. They will always refer to us as Nna Ochie (Ancient Fathers), and we will protect them for eternity. Whenever they undertake any significant event, they must invite their Ancient Fathers. If they face mistreatment or challenges, they can always turn to us for support. Just like their mother, they will never be cast away.
If these customs are not followed, our daughter’s spirit will never rest, and it will bring misfortune to the family. If a diviner is consulted, the spirit of the Nwa Ada will interfere with the divination until the proper rites are completed, and peace is restored.
